The other day I heard someone say to their friend “I feel like you’re being so negative! I feel that you have to look @ the glass as half full”
…now anyone who knows me knows that I believe in “empathy before honesty (Objective Truth vs subjective truth) and honesty before education” so even though I was very aware that by the end of the interaction they were going to see things in a very different way, I started out with a “guess to the YES” and said “it sounds like you really value this person as a friend and are concerned that the way they perceive life will prevent them from enjoying life?” After a brief pause they both exhaled, began to get misty and said “Yes”, as they turned and hugged one another!
I said “I’m guessing it’s challenging to hear concern when it’s filtered through words that are releasing bio-chemical toxins into your nervous system?” and the one friend was like “Amen” to which the 1st friend asked “Well, how would you have conveyed concern?” (the language was already being transformed into dopamine) and I smiled & said “I’m SO glad you asked” (Empathy ✔, Honesty ✔…hmmm what time is it? Oh yah it’s Game Time…Education)
*As he stretches his neck like Rocky*
1st my Beliefs:
(1) I believe that “what we resist, persists” and that “when we focus on what we don’t want, we get what we focus on” (so instead of saying “don’t do B” & attracting more B into our lives, we can say “given the choice between A&B.I prefer A” & call that forth)
(2) I believe that using the words ‘like & that’ after the word ‘feel’ (“I feel like, I feel that”) is not only a metaphor precursor (which by definition moves it away from being a feeling), but IMHO it describes thoughts (so we can choose words like “Believe, Imagine, Think, Opinion, Seems” and say “It seems like, I think that”)…ALWAYS follow the word ‘feel’ with an emotion (“I feel Happy, I feel nervous, I feel Excited, I feel scared, I feel Grateful”)
(3) I believe that our thoughts, words & actions are constantly influenced by one another and that if we come from scarcity/lack/loss, where we focus on what we don’t want, use punitive force and believe in power over others, then we’ll see the glass as half empty! On the other hand if we emanate from abundance (being against nothing…NO-THING), where we focus on what we DO want, use Protective Force & believe in Power With Others, then we’ll see the glass as half full 😉
…so how would I convey concern? Like this: “When I hear you talk to yourself & others, it seems like you’re being less than positive and I’m feeling deeply saddened because I care about you so much and am concerned for your Well-Being! So I’m wondering if you’d be willing to practice Transformational Vocabulary with me tomorrow? Hearing me say that what comes up for you?”
*Drops Mic* 😉
Love SiMBa (Spirit, Mind & Body, with inspiration and abundance mixed in)
For more info on the Language of NonViolence, or our Living With Compassion concerts, please contact @DyanDiamond (@TrueNorthHouse Publishing) 😉
NonViolent Personal Power 