Discipline: power over vs Power With

As the Son of two Americans of African-Ancestry, who were disciplined with punitive force (the desire to cause pain, for perceived wrongdoing), and lived before the Civil Rights Act, I think about the current group of Football players, who are the Authors of punitive force, & am Amazed (Personally, that my Parents made the desicion to raise me with Protective Force~the desire to prevent injury/injustice/danger~& Collectively, that more people don’t recognize the legacy of violence, Team-Humanity has evolved from)!

So let’s break it down: Our Thoughts, Words, & Actions, are constantly influenced by one another! If we change a characteristic of One, the others change as well (in any order)! So if our thoughts come from a place of scarcity (the belief in lack & loss…focusing on what we don’t like…aka fear), then we speak in declarations, answering Shakespeare’s famous Q, with “To Be” (You are, It is)! We employ the power over, model of the World, & use punitive force (on our Partners, our Children, & internally with ourselves).

Now, if our thoughts emanate from Abundance (Being against nothing…being for Peace & Cooperation, an Enlightened Educated Youth, a More Wonderful way of Living, & Respect for each others Feelings/Needs/Beliefs…aka Love), then we speak in Proclamations (Passionate expressions of One’s Beliefs), answering Shakespeare’s famous Q, with “Not To Be” (or Be To, which is Are You?, another Q)! We employ the Power With, model of the World, & use Protective Force (with our Partners, our Children, ourselves, & all members of Team-Humanity)

Collectively, Americans of African-Ancestry, have been trained in Torture & Terrorism, for multiple Generations, so for some folks, it makes sense to them, to discipline the way they were disciplined. Having experienced hazing, while being raised without physical violence, it was apparent to me, that the Authors of my hazing, were expressing the pain of their own hazing, & that it was masquerading as the labels, Unity & Brotherhood.

If “An eye for an eye, creates a blind World”, as the Grandfather of my friend, Arun Gandhi, once said, then I’m going out with the Philosophy of “Protective Use Of Force”, where we grab a child, who runs into the street, but we don’t strike them, once their safe! Where we employ Compassionate Resistance (Empathy with Pro-Activity), but don’t knowingly ingest venom, by applying enemy imagery! Where we say “I Love you, & have a need to Protect your well-being, but I need your help. I’d like you to be home by 11pm, & if you choose to come home later, then these are your Privileges that will be placed on pause! Good luck with your choice, did I tell you I love you”, vs “better get your ass home by 11, or else”…ya feel me?

My parents gifted me with the name Anthony Raymond Scruggs, & I’m a Spiritual-Being, experiencing Life, as an American of African-Ancestry, with a Pro-Sports pedigree, & a Film industry history! I’m a by-product of Love, Protective Force, Abundance, & Power With! If you Believe I would have been a more effective Human Being, had I been hit & yelled at, please LMK!

Love, SiMBa (Spirit, Mind, Body, with inspiration and abundance mixed in) #LanguageOfNonViolence


Leading With Compassion PlayShop


The Leading With Compassion (LWC) Presentation coaches people in the Philosophy (and Language) of NonViolence! LWC is an interactive Field of Dreams inspired by the work of Mahatma Gandhi, Tony Robbins, Marshall Rosenberg, and SiMBa (that’s me Spirit, Mind, Body with inspiration and abundance mixed in)! A Comedic and Symphonic Contemplation of Life, LWC provides participants with a personalized version of Empathy, and offers a quality of Connection that meets people where they’re ready to be! A Multi-Media Concert, LWC combines Philosopy with Strategy, and shifts Perceptions and Procedures, with Regularity!

•Introduce participants to the practical applications of Empathy (technique and theory)
•Develop the ability to make clear Objective Observations (in relation to subjective evaluations), emphasizing the development of Positive Doable Clear Action Language!
•Explore the difference between feelings, thoughts, and diagnoses, looking at commonly used Linguistic Larceny!
•Introduce participants to Paradigm Shifts, like Human Variation, Restorative Justice, and Group Privilege!

•Develop ability to hear what other people are Feeling!
•Recognize what people are Needing (including ourselves)
•Develop idioms that are culturally applicable!
•Increase knowledge in the associations/chemicals, that words release into our nervous systems!
•Demonstrate competency in Self-Empathy!

“In-Spirit Inspiration, In-God Enthusiasm, the Joy-of-Being combined with a Goal is like a Love-Orgasm!”
All you need (as Aristotle said) is an Open Mind (and Love of course)

Meme 1: Intro
Meme 2: Empathy Coach (definition)
Meme 3: Heart Hand (audience interaction)
Meme 4: Repetition quote/game
Meme 5: Coach Wooden (Pyramid & Quote)
Meme 6: 4 Translations of less than positive Human Comm
Meme 7: Antidotes/Elixirs/Remedies/Empathic Response
Meme 8: Takeaways/Gratitude/Pause

Sincerely, SiMBa

Masculinity, in the 21st Century (Empathy)

I had just started using my ‘Unlimited Power’, to ‘Awaken The Giant Within’, and ‘Get The Edge’, when I found myself volunteering in a “Mature Human-Beings Club”! I had just come home, for the off-season, & was inspired to “Make My Life A Masterpiece”, by giving back in a way, that I had never done before!

The friendly staff, decided after a few of my visits, that instead of being a general “Well-Wisher”, they wanted to pair me with One of the Old-School Gentlemen, they had perceived as being Challenging to deal with!

I did a quick “Deepak” (releasing attachment to all pronouncements), & was introduced to Ben, who I was told, really wanted to get outside (& go for walks), but only with a “Real Man”! As a Spiritual-Being, experiencing Life, as an American of African-Ancestry, I had a sense, that a 70 yr old “lighter shade of brown” (caucasian) male, may have unique ways of perceiving my “Higher Shade of Brown” Earth-Suit 😉

The 1st thing Ben said was “How tall are you?”, & I replied “Six One”! He asked “How much do you weigh”, & I said “220”, and my final “Man exam Q” was “Can you Bench 200 lbs, & Squat 500 lbs”, to which I responded “300 & 1000, if you really must know”! Whew, I had passed Ben’s test…& we became close friends, walking & talking for hours (I even got him a Gym membership, & introduced him to some financially Wealthy friends, that had also passed his exam)

Last night, @ a Marianne Williamson “Course in Miracles PlayShop”, the subject of Masculinity was brought up, in relation to “violence against Women”, & what it truly means to “Be A Man” in this day & age! As I listened to, what I perceived as Cognitive Dissonance, around “Enemy Imagery” (figuratively & literally), I remembered “Ben’s Man exam”, & realized that I needed to offer a slightly different perspective!

So I shared my version of identity (The whole “Spiritual Being” piece, adding in my “Athletically Professional” pedigree), & told the group that my “Inner Educator” attended Abundance & Love University, where they employed the “Power with Others” Philosophy, and that IMHO, what they were labeling maculinity, seemed more like power-over others, fear, & scarcity!

I capped off my Homage to my Psych PhD Mother (RIP), & my ‘Psycho-Cybernetics’ Father, by saying I had learned that Masculinity was:
(1) Asertive (vs agressive)
(2) Loving (vs fearful)
(3) Abundance (vs scarcity), &
(4) Empathy combined with Gentility

…IPV (intimate partner violence, aka domestic violence/DV), has been brought to a space, where we have an opportunity to, as Marianne might say “Uncover another layer of Enlightenment”, & as I think about “Ben’s Man Exam”, and how I want to bring Author/Recipient Empathy, into the “Restorative Justice” orbitry (in relation to “retributive/punitive”), I’m very Encouraged, and Joyfully Excited, that “Tomorrow’s Man” (S/O to Neale Donald Walsch), won’t be about the Earth-Suit, he’ll be about the Empathic Experiential-Reboot…Ben’s Real Man 4.0, update in progress! 🙂

Wanna Be A Man?

Remember that “Absolute Power, demands absolutely nothing, What we resist, persists, and Power over others, is weakness disguised as Strength” ~CWG

Wanna Be A Man?

“Never try to be better than someone else, but never cease to try to be, the very best that you can be” ~Coach Wooden, to his 10 National Championship, Ucla Bruins.

Wanna Be A Man?

I invite you, to “Use your CAGE LOCK, to egress from your cage” (meaning, use Compassion, Abundance, Gratitude, Empathy, & the Language Of Connected Kindness, to deal with any situation you find yourself in)

…because, “The way I see it, Life’s a Celebration, especially when we observe, without evaluation” ~SiMBa (Spirit, Mind, Body, with inspiration & abundance mixed in)

Dedicated to Amanda & Jairek…Buena Suerte! “Learn it, Live it, Give it” (Bula, Bula, Bula)

Change Your View


Change your view

Sometimes all we need is a new view.  A new vantage point to see things in a different light.  When we choose to look at things differently, we can begin to think differently – and this can bring amazing change in our lives.

In the movie, Dead Poet’s Society, the teacher tells all of the boys to stand up on a desk.  They quickly see that the whole room looks different from there.  It’s a simple thing, standing on a desk, but it lead the boys to a new perspective.  How can you look at things differently today?


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You can find more about emotions, love, compassion and light in my workbook – Inspired, An Adventure in Self-Awareness:…

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